i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
