how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
