I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
