I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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