My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
