I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
