i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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