The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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