How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I understand Curling. That high.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
