His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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