if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I deserve this hangover.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
