you win again, gameday.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
