Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize