Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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