He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
