Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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