Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
