Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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