You just made me feel so damn special
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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