Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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