glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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