i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
