Me. At least after what I've been through.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Fuck appropriateness.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
