Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
