Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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