ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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