Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize