i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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