She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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