U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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