if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
