if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You are a genius and a whore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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