I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
