Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
