And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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