Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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