I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
