This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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