I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My dick has a subreddit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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