Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
