If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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