Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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