bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
