but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is Oprah even human
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
