I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
