if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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