GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
