i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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