worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
