just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
