He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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