I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
