that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
