They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
