Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
