We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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