I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
