just survived the first fart of the relationship.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
did you just send me my own nude
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
